"For the sweet love of crap, update your website."
Posted Wednesday, February 21, 2007 @ 10:34 AM
The hardest thing about not writing here is coming back. I feel like I have taken extended leave to the foreign country of college—a terrain at which you can only guess, a rhythm and light not yet captured by words or photos. For the past two months, you have received half-completed postcards at best—mere tokens of my existence with no real message or explanation scrawled on the back. You can imagine the places I've seen, the kind of road I've walked, but your formulation of my experience remains fragmented.
I have received emails from a handful of you faithful readers, wondering whether I'm alive, if second semester is treating me better than the first, how the hell I'm spending my time, and so on. Most of the emails end, if not with an inquiry about when I will update, an explicit demand that I do so as soon as possible. Previously, I was not fully aware of the degree to which people rely on this website as a means of keeping up with me, but now even my family is commenting on the dearth of photographs and updates. I'm not going to lie—it's fun to drop off the radar for a while—but the initial novelty wore off and now it's mostly that I've broken the habit of updating. The little voice that tells me it's time to do so is muffled if not totally silenced.
Like a traveler, I feel like now that I'm here—now that I'm back—there's no way I can possibly describe the journey I've made. Perhaps the best I can do is give some general summary before jumping back in to business as usual. Here are some fragments.
For the past three days, I've been listening to only these five songs:
"Street Hassle" - Lou Reed
"Courting Blues" - Bert Jansch
"Holland Tunnel" - John Phillips
"Hold On" - Magnet
"Skin Is, My" - Andrew Bird
I'm taking the following classes this semester:
ART110 - a drawing 1 class as a pre-requisite for photography
IHP105 - an international honors seminar about intercultural communication, among other things
UH155 - a university honors class called "Narrative and the New Media," which involves interpreting the visual language of film, writing a screenplay, and filming and editing a ten minute short film
FR202 - French class as usual
MATH110 - finite math, which I need as core credit to graduate
Perhaps you'll learn more about each class as I get back into the rhythm of writing here. I'm pretty excited about all of them (except, you know, that last one).
Although I remain adamantly undeclared, I'm entertaining the idea of double-majoring in English and photography, despite the fact that when people ask and I tell them this, I will feel a little silly. I'm almost halfway to a minor in French, which I plan to follow through with.
2006 was my biggest year for travel ever, but 2007 is shaping up to be just as or more exciting. My mother, my sister, and I will be in Chicago for spring break. I've found an incredible group of friends this semester, and on our meager college if-we-don't-ever-go-out-to-eat-or-shop-for-shopping's-sake budgets, we've planned several weekends of road trips. This weekend: Atlanta to see Of Montreal. In the near future: camping, Gulf Shores, and New Orleans. But the biggest news? Before the end of the month, I will have acquired a plane ticket to China.
Missy's family is from Beijing, and we'll be staying in the city for a little over two weeks this August. I'm traveling back alone, and staying the night in Korea, and deeply regret that Beijing is the only place I'll have time to visit. It seems a shame to spend nearly two days on airplanes and not see more of the East while I'm there. Basically, if I have the opportunity, the means, and the place isn't war-torn, I'll explore any country I can. I have become a travel junkie, and I don't want to go to rehab.
My father, if it's possible, is as or more excited than me that I have the opportunity to go. I think we're both expecting incredible photography and writing to come of it. If any trip could be life changing or a once in a lifetime chance, it's this one. I look forward to being totally out of my element; as a pale skinny redhead, I usually stick out when I travel, but in a city full of Chinese I think I will be a little more sore-thumb than usual. It's been a long time since I've been this excited about something.
I received a letter and package from my sister in the mail today—a set of hand-made greeting cards, a CD of French music, and a DVD. In her letter, she mentioned that it's the longest time we've been apart since I was born, which is true. I can't remember the last home-cooked meal we all shared at the same table, and the shape of family life has been altered irreversibly. The house in Birmingham where I grew up is empty. There is an air mattress, two lawn chairs, a saucepan, a telephone, and a set of plastic cups. It's not on the market yet, but should be within the next month. My parents moved to their new house in South Carolina mid-January, and though I've seen it empty, I've not yet visited them since they moved. Having to communicate with each other by phone is something that's new to all of us, and I've done a pretty rotten job of keeping in touch.
Since I've not been here, I feel less connected to you lingering readers. How the hell have you been?
I will do my best to return here regularly, if not frequently, and I hope you'll all excuse my extended absence.
Welcome to the past, bucko. You're swimming through the archive of rocket-fish.org. If this isn't where you were headed, I suggest you get out of here while there's still time.
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I too, Glynnis.
These four months have been a toppling of old intentions, however dear. Since our conversation (I warned you "it may be a while") an encounter with some heavy truths set a pulse to my heart - the electric paddles of decision! I woke this year to realize myself standing as it were upon the first vista of my life from which was viewable the vanishing point of all meaning.
Does this sound too large not to be exaggerated? I am confident it is anything but overstated, this change within me! I yearn to be burned up and consumed, a match struck to cast fire and life and light into the world; root up and throw down; to burn a course of truth through the dry hedges of humanity. Every match burnes only once and then to ash, but I am willing to be struck: for one well-placed flame can set such fires as never to be forgotten.
May your changes be as catalytic as mine.
Mike:.
PS: I'm considering the logistics of a bike ride... from Wisconsin to Seattle, down to San Diego. It would take six months and I see next April as a possible time for it. Kind of a pilgrimage.
21 Feb 2007, 2:32 PM.
Damn, when I stopped updating, nobody bothered e-mailing me. :(
I'm doing well. The details would take too long, so I'll leave it at that. :)
21 Feb 2007, 8:57 PM.
YAY ATLANTA! I have to admit, I'm pretty excited. And New Orleans shall be a blast as well. With even the travel aside I’m thrilled to know that things are shaping up a little better for you this semester. Let the adventures begin! :)
22 Feb 2007, 10:01 AM.
Glynnis -
Goodness me do I love you. And not just because you quoted me.
Your upcoming travels make me madly, wildly jealous. I am, however, going on a road trip to Boston over Spring Break, which should (at least temporarily) satisfy my need to see every inch of planet Earth.
Anyway, nice to see you're as alive and well as I'd hoped.
Remaining Your Favorite Fetishized Armadillo,
Matthew
22 Feb 2007, 4:59 PM.
Pssst, new White Stripes album in June called "Icky Thump", pass it on.
28 Feb 2007, 7:59 PM.