15 JANUARY 2005
12:02AM

Some evenings call for acting like five-year-olds, and if it's an evening with Mark, Philip, Thomas, and Abby, it's probably an evening of immaturity. We do things like wrestle people in prolonged fights over a chair, lock people out when they leave the room (Philip), and then poke them from under the door with a wooden sword. We play video games (namely, Smash Brothers), eat cold Chick-fil-a, and argue about who's closest to the TV when the volume is too low. Philip does things like use his cell to call his brother downstairs, asking if he would please get his dinner out of the bathroom a few rooms away and bring it to him.

And people, the "your mom" jokes are so abundant that you can swim through them. (I swam through your mom last night.)

We jump at the oppurtunity to use phrases like "the bonus room." There are golden moments like: "My hair is greasy, and there's sugar in my pocket" and (in reference to armpit-farting) "I used to be able to play 'Silent Night' but I lost my tone when I got pit hair." They don't make any more sense in context, believe me.

At least once every time all of us get together, Thomas and Philip won't put down their guitars. They play the same five songs every time: "Undone: the Sweater Song," "Karma Police," "Paranoid Android," "Cherub Rock," "Here In My Room," and tonight -- the Power Rangers themesong. Abby and I sat in the corner and played rock, paper, scissors, and poked around Philip's basement and popped bubble wrap. Tonight Mark accompanied them on drums as the three of them sang their best mockery of Kurt Cobain's scratchy "Smells Like Teen Spirit" voice.

Being "one of the guys" is probably the most amusing thing I can do with my time. Teenage guys have this logic that, to an outsider, seems silly. Mark told me once about a friend who, when told that the bed on which he was to sleep would have to be made in the morning, slept on top of all the bed clothes, even though it was cold. They make me laugh so hard that my stomach hurts afterward. So hard that I don't even get hiccups.
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