I'm so immersed in my own glynnis-culture that I can't tell if this will be funny to anyone but me and Carolyn. She and I found it rather chuckle-worthy at the time, but perhaps that has to do with the hour at which we conversed...

At any rate, I thought I'd post it here just in case someone else might find it amusing.

g: she lives in colorado (did i spell that right?)
c: yeah
g: heh. i just kept seeing color-ado so it looked wrong.
c: hehe. colourado.
g: english spellings are nicer sometimes. homourous i think is my favourite. colour, sometimes. but never practise.
c: the u's always piss me off. practise is nice for variety, i think, even though it would never make perfect.
g: maybe we should just stay away from english spellings so as not to annoy the other's preferences.
c: yeah, let's write to british writers and tell them. dear virginia woolf, i'm sorry but please stop using british spellings they really piss the crap out of us americans. love, glynnis and carolyn.
g: heh. dear mr. neruda, we really like spanish people but we aren't proficient in your language, and we were wondering if maybe you could write in english for once. translators suck. love, carolyn and glynnis
c: dear monk, i'm sorry but we really hate beowulf would you please erase it? love, carolyn and glynnis.
g: dear the pearl poet, it's sunday night and our english teacher is kind of crazy. could you x the whole hunting parallel thing so that this essay assignment will go away? sorry we ruined your poem. <3 carolyn and glynnis.
c: dear pearlie, it's getting late and your alliteration is getting old, both literally and figuratively. "garb" is antiquated; "green apparel" would sound better. xo lit police
g: dear british literature before 1900, you suck. <3 glynnis
c: does that make us bad writers? i mean, we have appreciation for what we know. but should we appreciate the writing too?
g: i dunno. we should ask mr. beitelman or something. he would probably have a good answer that would also make us feel better.
c: i would almost be embarassed to ask.
g: maybe it just makes us patriotic.
c: next special topics course: writing the western world. that way we can fit in pablo neruda, william carlos williams, and lorca. (the iberian peninsula is west of greenwich, right?) and a couple of canadians too. oh, and yeats. but the only good thing yeats wrote was the second coming. so whatever.
g: we'll just call it "writing a selectively english-speaking world with some other western spanish guys in there too"
c: "plus that hot actor guy"
g: "and a few other people that we think are attractive too (sorry gertrude stein)"
c: haha revision: HOT WRITERS CLUB
g: hahaa
c: see, if you judge literary merit by the writer's looks, you totally eliminate anyone who lived before the nineteenth century.
g: i think that's a conclusion i can live with.
c: "mrs. abernathy, i really can't read this. i have no idea what the writer looked like."
g: hot writers 101: a course that examines literary texts in a subjective manner. all papers and projects will have a primary focus on the writers' personal lives and on their writing only if it's especially good and you won't get tired of it while writing an essay. 100 credit hours.
c: i am going to any college that has a class with "hot writers" in the name.
g: looks like you'll be attending your own university.
g: how close are you to the finishing your paper?
c: it depends how my aim conversations develop.
g: how true.
c: talking about anything slightly literary with anyone who isn't in creative writing is painful.
g: that's what i'm going to miss most about creative writing. no one will understand my punctuation humor or my letters to british literature before 1900 and my renditions of "this is just to say" won't be nearly as funny.


g: sometimes at the end of the day (or the beginning of a new one, as the case may be), when i've become disgusted by my own breath, i think about all the things i've eaten since the last time i brushed my teeth and try to taste all of them at once.
g: it's really gross, but at the same time i think it's sort of interesting...
c: would you be embarrassed if i shared what you just said with other people?
c: so what are you tasting today?
g: well, i haven't brushed my teeth since this morning before i left the house. so...coffee, and the spices from the meatballs that i had for dinner, as well as some from the tomato sauce. with an overall fatty taste that resulted either from the cream cheese with my breakfast bagle or from the cheddar on my snack quesadilla. disgusting, no?
c: your tastebuds are so finely tuned. more remarkable than disgusting.
g: ::shrug:: my tongue is a marvelous creature.
c: sometimes you've just got to throw up your hands and thank the lord that you met the person that you're talking to.
g: heh. i'm glad discussion of my bad breath and idealized body parts entertains you so.
c: talk about the pixilated picture.